I mega cooked this whole weekend. Friday night we made red velvet cupcakes (out of a red velvet cake mix) and frosted them with whipped frosting. Then for some odd reason we took 8 of them over to the neighbors. They were thankful. I wonder if they ate them. We thought they were good, but you never know what others think.

I made lots of meals (including a yummy casserole tonight) and we watched 2 movies. All the while folding load after load after load.

Remind me to never wait that long to do laundry again.

It was such a cold, windy and rainy day. It was just the kind of day to hang out at home, bake and watch TV. So basically that is what we did.

I ran into a co-worker last night at the hockey game and told her that I applied for that other job. She was really happy for me and wished me luck. She was my supervisor when I first started working there in August of 1998. She's a nice lady. A little odd, but very caring and nice nonetheless.

So many things keep running through my mind about this job. The biggest one being child care and the extra expense that will be that I'm not accustomed to. And then the thought of dress clothes. Which I barely have any. And the ones I do have are pretty worn out and I've been wearing them for *coughs*years*coughs*. So that will be an added expsense too. But we'll just see. I do believe I'm getting the cart before the horse here. Maybe they'll interview me and I won't be right for the job at all. And if that's the case I completely understand. Somebody who is working in that department already probably has a lot more knowledge of the job already than I do. I guess I have to leave this one to the hands of fate. If it's meant to be, I'll get this job. If it's not, then I'll stay working at home, no stress of finding child care and wearing flannel pants.

I'm just stressing out about a lot of stuff right now. Rent, a trip to Kansas City I had to pay for, bills, bills, and more bills. Overwhelming but I'll catch up hopefully by the end of the month. This won't kill me, so I guess that means it will make me stronger. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

And maybe one of these days I'll actually believe that.

I guess I'll have to watch my favorite hockey team from afar, and what I mean by afar is on TV, no eating out for a few weeks, hope that last roll of toilet paper lasts until next payday (which by the way it's NOT lol) and hope for the best.

At least my trip is paid for now and all I have to worry about is our meals and other stuff when we get there. And it's not for another 2 months so that gives me time.

Oh and I've been talking to my mom via Yahoo Messenger off and on these last few days. That woman cracks me up. She uses it to stay in touch with a really good friend from high school which I think is really cute. So Jax and I added her and we've been talking to her off and on. I was talking to her then she told me that Jax "was coming through on another box" which made me laugh my ass off. I told her she could have more than one conversation at a time. But she really can't, she can't keep up with it. Then she told Jax she made banana bread and Jax said she could smell it and it smelled good and mom told her it's in the freezer so she hoped her nose didn't get freezer burnt. I don't know why that made me laugh, it just did. I guess I forget my mom DOES have a sense of humor sometimes....

I've made mention on here more than once that my sister and I are constantly criticized about everything. That's how she does it. She really doesn't know any other way because that is how she was raised. I've learned to take it all with a grain of salt. However she said some stuff to Cass the other day that just made we wanna go off. But I didn't. Cass said she wanted to be a model when she grew up (she IS very tall and skinny) and whatnot. To which my mother told her "Well if you got your face cleared up and braces you'd be gorgeous!" That set me off and I assured Cass she's gorgeous NOW and then mom kinda stammered around and said "oh yeah, you are". I don't think Cass picked up on anything but I sure the hell did. I mean fuck with me all you want. Call me every name in the book, criticize your little heart out, I'm used to it.

BUT DON'T FUCK WITH MY KID!

Wow I really sound more upset about it than I really am. I corrected her, no damage done and we moved on. I don't know, it just really upset me at the time. But now maybe I should be upset my kid wants to be a model. Is that just an eating disorder waiting to happen or what? I don't really worry about it much, as she's only 10 and will change her mind like 14432424 more times before she graduates.

Maybe in 10 years she'll want to go on "America's Next Top Model 314" and maybe she'll win something. Who knows. But if she becomes a finger gagging, no eating, disorder living person then hell no. She can be something else.

You know, we as parents just try to do the best we can do. We try to teach our kids right from wrong. We discipline them the way we know best and hope we don't fuck em up for life. Because if we do, it was never our intention. Even Dr. Phil said that as parents we do the best we can with what we know at the time. You can tell he's been a parent. Anybody who thinks it's easy, obviously doesn't have kids. Every day is something new.

Anyway, I'm apparently rambling on here and I really need to get to bed. Tomorrow is another day, another dollar.

And when I get that dollar, I'm buying more toilet paper.