After much consideration, running scenarios through my head, making phone calls, talking to people, etc. I have decided I am going back to school. It's something I've been mulling around for quite some time. I was however, in the state of mind for most of this time that it was going to not be feasible for me to do this. For every reason you gave me that I could do it, I'd give you 3 more of why I couldn't. It was sickening and self-destructive and just plain crap.

So, after much thought and deliberation I've come up with this little gem of thought. There are 2 kinds of people out there. One kind is the kind who due to whatever circumstances, they don't get done in life what they really wanted or dreampt about. They did what they had to do at the time and then time passes by and these people sit there in regret, always wondering what it "could have been". These are the people who say they need to do this or that but never do. Wishful thinking. They have 100 excuses why they shouldn't pursue their dream. They live a life of regret and unhappiness.

Then there are the people who make things happen. Maybe they didn't get it right the first time. Maybe their circumstances took them a bit off the course for a while but then they got back on. These are the people who make their dreams happen, regardless of what it takes. What sacrifices have to be made. Where there's a will there is a way. They can see the big picture, they can smell the taste of sweet success just within their grasp. And nobody or nothing will stand in their way.

Okay, I'll admit that for most of my life, I lived the life of the regretful bitter soul. Always wishing I had done something else. And now here I sit, unhappy with my job. I have a good job, I make decent money. Believe me, I'm far above minimum wage. I can pay my bills. I by no means have a crappy dead end job. I just don't like what I do anymore. Plain and simple. And I can do better. I know that. So why the fuck not?

So as per usual, I called my mom to ask her about something and by then she had already heard about what I am planning to do. She, of course, let me tell her what I had planned to do and then she took a giant shit right on it. Right on my dream. But really, I wasn't expecting anything less of that. Because that's how my mom rolls yo. Let em dream then take a dump on it. It's the story of my life.

And in the past I would have let that get me down. I would have fed into the bullshit, let her convince me I can't do it. Well not anymore boy howdy. No way no how. What she doesn't know is that by her dumping on my dream, she just poured gasoline on my already hot burning fire. That's right, she just gave me more determination to do this.

And when I get my degree and I am a Registered Nurse and have a good job making at least twice what I am now, then I'm going to take that piece of paper with my name on it and have it laminated. Then I'm going to take it to her house and tell her she can keep it. That because of her shitty ass critical, degrading, pessimistic, piss poor depressing attitude, I did it. Just to fuckin spite her man.

Not that that is the only reason I am doing it because I'm not. I'm doing it because I know I'm capable. Because I know I'm smart and I have the ability to better myself. I am NOT settling on my life how it stands now. I won't live paycheck to paycheck forever. I will do it. And I know that.

FUCKING WATCH ME!!!