I don't know why the hot buff guy with an IQ less than his body fat index didn't tell me about that. Oh I know why, because whenI walked in I rudely interrupted him talking on his cell phone and shaking his protein drink. How dare I!

Okay now that we have my body fluids out of the way let us move on shall we?

I believe I may have caused a fruit shortage in my town. We went to the store yesterday afternoon to load up on "healthy food" because God knows I don't actually have that in my house. I figured if it's here I'll eat it. I still let Cass get some of her junk food but she happens to love fruit and vegetables just as much as I do. So here is what I bought.
-Apples
-Pears
-Peaches
-Plums
-Cauliflower (Cass likes it I don't)
-Celery
-Carrots
-Lettuce for salads

Now anybody who knows me that right there I bought my usual year supply of stuff right there. I'm eating fruit for snacks now instead of total shit. That makes me happy. I haven't had any diet coke rampages yet so that's good. But it's only day #2 people, give me time.

While at said store I decided it was time to buy a scale so that I can see where I started out at and how I'm doing. I haven't owned a scale in YEARS. I prefer to live my life in denial thankyouvery much. So you can imagine how shocked I was when I stepped on what I now refer to as the digital bastard. I had guesstimated my weight and I wasn't off by much but still, it sucks seeing it. So now I'm going to become one of those obsessively weighting myself every hour on the hour to see if I'm making any progress. Makes me feel better though to get my nunny and thinking that maybe I have an extra couple of pounds on right now due to water weight. Probably not but damn I'm going with it. I'm fat, give me a break here.

So I found out you can be persnickety with your kid if you do ala Napolean Dynamite. Let me explain. So we're in the car on the way home from the store and this takes place.....

ME: Why don't you just wear your navy blue shorts you wore to the track meet tomorrow, they would match better.
Cass: I can't, they are at dads. And why do you always say track MEET? It's called track DAY *rolls eyes*
ME: Why do you have to say that every time? It doesn't really flippin matter does it? GOSH!
Cass: *giggles*

My advice to you parents. If your kid is in the heat of an argument with you, come back talking like Napolean Dynamite and even do the little laugh. They will instantly shut up and start laughing and forget what they were fighting with you about.

I am totally scaring my kid. I'm not like all the other moms. I don't drive a mini-van and drop her off every morning in my designer work clothes and bake homemade treats for the classroom. I pick her up and we drive down the road jamming out to Will Smith together. We hunker down on the couch together and watch movies and eat chocolate (well not for me anymore) and we dance like nobody is watching. My house is where the friends hang out, spend the night, etc. So kiss my ass soccer mom!!!

If you want a really good place to people watch, go to the grocery store. Sometimes I try to guess what's going on by the things people buy. For instance, in front of me last night was an older lady with about 5 boxes of Little Debbie cakes and 36 rolls of toilet paper! That was it! Hmmm wonder what she was going to do. My guess is it involved a giant sweet tooth and plenty of time to read the newspaper.

Watched another great episode of "Deadliest Catch" last night. Have you seen that show? It's on Discovery Channel. It rocks. It's about a fleet of ships in the Behring Sea and it follows them while they fish for Alaskan crab. It is considered one of the most dangerous jobs out there. But boy do they clean up after just a short amount of time. If you could personally make around $25,000 for a week's work wouldn't you? Unless you're my ex-best friend, then there are other ways of making that much money in a week but that's a whole other story. When they play the theme song of "Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi I'm like yeahhhhhhhh and singing along to that son of a bitch. And that show "Dog the Bounty Hunter" on A&E, don't get get me started brah. Love that shit.

I'm going to go enjoy a few hours of peace and quite while Cass is at volleyball camp. Besides I think it's time for me to go weight myself again.

Seacrest out. Ingrid - 2005-06-08 15:47:15
Oh no. I am with you on the scale thing. I hate the scale!
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