Dear Coppertone Company,

While I know you make really great smelling suntan lotion products, your SPF 45 sun block did nothing for me. Have you actually tested it or did you pour some lotion in a bottle and slap an SPF 45 sticker on it and call it good? I recommend before another person gets fried to a golden crisp, you slap some of that shit on YOUR skin, go out in the sun and see how it works on YOU!

Sincerely,

Joey aka Lobster Girl

My morning started out a little hurried, had some issues to take care of then threw stuff in a bag and called it good. As we're loading up our vehicles, Terri shouts out her van "Hey Joey, are you gonna take bed stuff? You look like you're packed a little light there". I realized I forgot it and ran back in and grabbed the first stuff I could find. We hit the interstate and when we got off the right exit, Terri for some reason (must be the old age) couldn't see the HUGE sign for the campground off to her right. So I'm honking and trying to get her attention and she turns and goes the wrong way. Time for somebody to have their eyes checked!! Your Medicare will cover it right Terri????

So we get there and check in. After a brief panic because the door was locked and nobody was going to be back until 2:00 we finally got checked in. We made it back to our kabin and we started unloading stuff. Here's a pic of the outside of our kabin.

It was really small but it fit us all fine. we were right next to the pool and most importantly the bathroom. I took a pic of the pool but it mysteriously disappeared from my camera. It was really nice, not too big and the water was really clean. And cold. I mean colder than a witch's tit. But it was nearing 100 and we didn't mind, it was such a nice way to survive the heat.

While we were in the pool an older couple came in and got into the pool. I would say they were maybe in their 50s. They got in and just swam around for a bit like everybody else and the next thing you know, I look over their way (on the opposite site of the pool we were on) and that old white haired man has her pinned up against the side of the pool and they are making out!!! I, being the nosey person that I am, point it out to Terri and she looks too and we all start laughing. That's when I said it......"I feel like there should be porno music playing bow bow chicka bow wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww" and we all started laughing. Not sure if they heard or what but they broke it up not long after. I was thisclose to yelling "get a kabin already would ya?" but thankfully they broke it up and I didn't lose my lunch. Speaking of which.....here is the little grill that our kabin came with.

So Terri fires up the grill for lunch and gets the charcoal going. She put the burgers and dogs on it and apparently they weren't heating up as fast as they should or something so Terri gets the brilliant idea to add more lighter fluid to them to get them going that way. Well, she was trying to be careful but she got lighter fluid on the burgers. She said it would be fine. Take a lesson from me, if you spill lighter fluid on your burgers, it WON'T cook off. And you will have lighter fluid burgers. I still can't get that taste out of my mouth. I'm hoping I didn't ingest enough to make me sick but I'm sure if I was going to, I would have by now. So I'll just make sure I don't blow out really hard and light a match, that's for sure.

Here's the little porch swing on our front porch. Isn't it cute???

And because I'm a total moron, this picture is the only one I have of inside because I was too busy eating lighter fluid and getting fried to remember to take pics on the side. Anyway, here is Kim (aka DJ Kimmy Kim) who brought her sound system and enough CD's to last us a month getting ready to rev up the tunes.

So Jada showed up after work bringing goodies and her suit and we headed off again to the pool. Hung out there for a while and decided to go back to the kabin and make supper. Again we had yummy hamburgers sans lighter fluid, chips, pop, and Little Debbie cakes that Jada had brought. And she brought these S'More cookies that were delicious also. Diet? I aint on no stinkin diet! By the time Jada left and we all finished eating, the sunburns were kicking in. Everybody was fried and tired. So we all laid down for a bit to get some energy back so we could party all night long and have fun. WRONG. Poor Terri was so fried she couldn't get move and she wasn't feeling well. (That's what you get when you don't wear sunscreen sista! You think you're invincible? HA!!!) We file out of the kabin and realize that we are getting neighbors next door in the kottage! It's a family of 3 little kids. They are noisy and unloading everything but the kitchen sink from the van. Oh great. By this time Terri is really not feeling well and we are all just kind of zapped. I get out the cards to try to teach them poker but then I realize we have nothing to bet with and you can't really do anything about the game unless you have something to bet with. So we decide to play rummy. By this time Terri is freezing and getting the chills so she goes in and grabs her sleeping bag and wraps up in that. She doesn't want to play cards, she's feeling too icky. It was then decided to go back in the house and play where it's air conditioned and also Terri can lay down. Tiff gave up by them too so it's 10:00 and DJ Kimmy Kim and I are on the floor in the cabin playing Rummy. And to make matters worse, she beat me. By then it's 11:00 and there is nothing to do but go to bed because we're all fried and not feeling great. At midnight I hear Terri get out of bed and run outside and I hear her coughing. She was sick and she had lost everything she had eaten that day. That poor thing. She was really sick. She came back in and got settled back in bed.

After sleeping many hours on a small twin bunk bed, it was time to get up and pack up and leave this morning. I was home by 10:45. All in all it was a great time. Had we not gotten so sunburned it would have been more fun. But considering that we did, we made the best of what we could do. Would I do it again? Yes I would. But this time I would wear 12432987323987243 SPF.

And as I was flipping channels just now I saw that MTV was showing "Crossroads" with Britney Spears. Why MTV why???? I like you. I enjoy your shows but what on god's green earth were you thinking when you decided to play "Crossroads"????

Anyway, I've typed enough already, I'll continue tomorrow on more stuff. It's been quite a busy 24 hours. Tune in tomorrow when I will post pictures of my sunburn. It's quite fabulous.