Okay, so what's this I read about Tom Cruise buying a sonogram machine so he can keep tabs on his baby? Jesus. He's already got the death grip on Katie, has scientology "advisors" trailing her every move, taking her everywhere with him just in case she runs. Now he's gonna keep tabs on his kid? Well guess what Mr. Cruise, the baby ain't goin anywhere! I wasn't aware that Mr. Cruise had the credentials to use a sonogram machine, perform the ultrasound and interpret the results. But I should have guessed, since he's studied psychology so in depth. Now he's gonna tell me he's studied Obstetrics and Gynecology too? I'm sure his local scientology temple or whatever it's called probably has classes where you can study different specialties in depth, become and expert and get your M.D. online. I'm thinking now maybe he's going to deliver the baby too? Maybe the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard will guide him through the delivery process. Let's hope it's not a boy. L. Ron Cruise is just too busy of a name. The best revenge of all will be after she's had the baby and she goes through post partum depression and he tells her to just take some vitamins and it will get better. I hope she scoops up that baby, kicks him in the nuts and runs for her dear life. Oh Katie what did you get yourself into? Even if they last longer than Paris and Paris, she'll still have to have that crazy ass lunatic in her life forever. She should have got out while the going was good.

Nick and Jessica - it's about damn time they finally announced their split up! Now Nick can go back to licking whip cream off strippers and Jessica can sleep with guys from "Jackass" and have her daddy make it all better without trying to fake their marriage! What a breath of fresh air that will be for them! I really feel bad for Nick in all of this. It sucked he had to be married to not only Jessica but her daddy too.

Maybe Jessica and Tom Cruise should hook up. There isn't room for Joe AND a scientology advisor to be on both hips. I'd pay big money to see a good old fashioned brawl between them. The scientologist would breathe his dragon flames on ole Joe and he'd melt faster than you can say "ding dong the witch is dead"!

There are ya happy now Regan? I mentioned the Tom Cruise gossip!