Pull them out, I know you can do it. Pull them sticks out of your asses. You know, it wouldn't kill you to fucking smile once in a while.

You look at me in disdain, every one of you. Denying my exsistence. Pretending you don't see me there. You look away at the site of me. Can't even acknowledge me with a glance. People ask me if I'm related and I explain. Or sometimes I say no. For anyone who knows of your family, doesn't know about me. Sweep it under the rug. Deny it. I'm a skeleton to be tossed in the proverbial closet. And believe me, I have company there. Compartmentalize your lives all of you. Put everything in its place, have order. But don't for one minute think that I am the mother of your granddaughter, that once upon a time I had a place in your lives. I was talked to, treated nicely and loved by each and every one of you. And now I'm nothing but a wince and a look of disgust on your faces.

I am not a bad person. You may have not agreed with every decision I made but I wasn't bad enough for there to be a great deal of concern on your parts. I am doing good for myself now, thinking about my future and righting my wrongs. Making a better life for that precious daughter/granddaughter/niece of yours. Do I get any credit? Nope I won't and I never will. And you know what? I don't *need* your approval at all.

I sit and look at all of you with the frowns on your faces, the sticks up your asses and the looks of disapproval and feel sorry for you. Does the sunlight shine in your homes? Are the blinds and windows open to let in some happiness? Or are those permanent frowns on your faces? Do you have any idea what it's like to enjoy your life, be spontaneous and have fun? To do something so out of the realm that it makes you laugh? I bet you don't. You keep up the sourpuss faces and look at me like I'm the bad one.

Seriously, fucking lighten up a little. I'm not an ax murderer or a crack whore, or an alcoholic. I am me. I am part of your past, forever part of your family. Get over it.

And my god, PULL THE COBS OUT OF YOUR ASSES PEOPLE, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!

Sincerely,

Joey